Pouting Paris Explodes Toads

*****EXCLUSIVE******
In a shocking turn of events, scientist have discovered what has caused over a thousand toads to explode in Germany. It was first believed that aggressive crows were cleverly picking out the toads livers, causing the toads to then to puff up protectively. But with their livers removed and holes in their chest, the toads exploded, spewing their entrails and dying in slow agony.

QD has recently received startling information that debunks the "Crow" theory. It has been reported that Paris Hilton was seen meandering along the "Pond of Death" capturing and kissing toads in hope of finding her Prince Charming. After releasing the poor creatures, the toads then exploded.

Eyewitnesses report that Ms. Hilton seemed unaware of the devastation she was causing. One source reported being "stunned" by Paris' behavior, "Like, Paris is totally bummed out that Nicole [Richie] is engaged and she like freaked at the thought of being beat out to the altar. She did some research at Barnes and Noble in Santa Monica, and like this bookseller told her that in old times princesses like totally kissed frogs who turned into super hot guys who were like rich and freaky and Paris was like, 'That's Hot.'"

Insiders tell QD that Ms. Hilton immediately flew to Germany, to find her future husband. Unfortunately, Ms. Hilton has received so many Botox and collagen injections that the cosmetic poisons seeped out of her lips and onto the possible paramours. Paris' poisonous kisses mix with the natural secretions on the toad's skin causing a deadly and explosive chemical reaction.

Attempts at identifying the Santa Monica bookseller who inspired the poisonous pouts of Paris were unsuccessful. Repeated calls to Ms. Hilton’s office have not been returned. Developing...