Why You Should Be Worried About Immigration

An Epistle to Radical Right on the Eve of Implosion

by Karl Rove

Dear Fellow God Loving Americans,

I would like to warn to you about a very real and imminent danger: Illegal Immigrants.

You should be very afraid of Immigrants because they are taking all of the American jobs that were not shipped overseas from you. Immigrants are bad and you should fear them because if you do not they will take over America and make people speak Spanish.

Now, I never graduated from college so take it from me: Spanish is a hard language to learn. And frankly, it is unAmerican. And if you are not with America you are against America. And if you are against America you are against God. Immigrants are against America and Immigrants are against God. Got that? Good.

Now tomorrow I am going to be indicted on federal charges of lying and obstructing justice. I want you to know that this is is just a ploy by overzealous prosecutors, activist judges, and partisan Democrats to try to stop this President from acting on Immigration and protecting America. Don't let the indicters win! They are against America and for making our new National language Spanish.

If you love God you will believe that I am innocent and that the real obstructors of justice are the terrorists and the real liars are the immigrants. Terrorists and immigrants are trying to kill you and kill America and ruin innocent people like me.

Don't let the immigrant terrorists win!
Next election VOTE Republican.

Stay the course!
Love,
Karl


Queenie's Daughter found this letter in the trash bin next to the President's itinerary.
It was labeled "Resignation Speech 1.0: Set backs? Blame it on the Wetbacks!"